“I don’t think that I accepted that I wasn’t gonna die young until I was 26 or 27. I really don’t think I fully…when I was 14, 15, 16, 17–I mean I knew as sure as I know that I am wearing green shoes that I was going to die before much happened. It was a certainty for me. And I had shaken off the directly suicidal urge by the time I was 21 or 22, but I still was pretty sure I was going to die pretty young, it really felt like an inevitability. It takes a long time to realize no, you’ve changed…if you shared those feelings with people at some point you go, ‘well, I guess we’re going to stick around.’ And it’s a funky thing to admit because there’s a part of your inner younger self that kind of judges you for that.”
John Darnielle fucking me up with the single most relatable thing he’s ever said
reminds me of when he was about to play werewolf gimmick in 2015 and
“[Audience member: Live hard, die young!] Yeah, it’s a little too late for that, man. It’s easy for you to say. I have news for you: sometimes… sometimes it turns out the slogan you didn’t know you were living by was ‘live hard, live long.’ The slogan begins to stretch: ‘live hard, live long, feel pain, go on. Wake up, keep going, keep going, keep going. Grow old, keep going, outlive all friends, last man alive, unending desert, so many stars, limitless, endless stars, throne standing alone in the desert, and yourself [inaudible]…'”
actually, growing up is feeling like i turned sixteen two days ago. i’ve been eighteen for years. fifteen year olds seem so young. wasn’t i fifteen just a few weeks ago? all my friends and i are still twelve. i’m closer to thirty than to being a baby. i never got to be a kid. i never grew past eight. i can’t talk to my mom. i want to sit in her lap forever. i want to decide everything for myself. i need someone to tell me exactly what to do. the week is going by so slow. an entire year has passed.
having to come to terms with the fact that love is not an everlasting performance in which you attempt to retain the attention of your significant other but rather a release of control and putting faith into them and trusting them to choose to stay with you no matter what you have to offer
“But Caleb said, “Let’s go at once to take the land, we can
certainly conquer it!’” Numbers 13:30 Israel was just across the Promised Land,
poised to enter in. They sent 12 spies to scout the Land. When they returned,
10 gave a discouraging report while two, Joshua and Caleb, gave an encouraging
report. God had promised them the land—a
land flowing with milk and honey. But they ignored what He said and focused on
the obstacles, the challenges, and the giants. However Caleb and Joshua looked
at their great and mighty God who had led them thus far. Fear eclipses our
faith. Don’t lose sight of God and His purpose in your life. Rather look to God
who is the “God of the impossibilities.” He will lead you to the end
victoriously, if you let Him. What He has said that He will do.
